Relationship Matters & Emotional Sobriety

The heart of emotional sobriety is learning to live differently—one day at a time. Relationships often test this the most. Why? Because emotional dependence can drive (often unconsciously) demands, expectations, and unenforceable rules about what a relationship should look like and how our partners should behave.

These unenforceable rules can keep us stuck—restless, irritable, and discontent—and make it difficult to build love that lasts. Better relationships begin with surrender: letting go of our hobbling demands and aligning ourselves with the reality of the relationship. This is hard because we may believe things must go our way for the relationship to work. This is the BIG LIE.

In this workshop, we will explore how emotional sobriety helps us show up differently in our relationships—practicing acceptance, letting go of expectations, and learning to deal with life on life’s terms. This requires developing a kind of consciousness that creates emotional freedom. It moves us from “I am OK if things go my way” to the deeper freedom of “I am OK even if things don’t go my way.”

Achieving this level of emotional maturity is not easy. Bill Wilson wrote about emotional sobriety and encouraged an attitude of curiosity when we become upset or disturbed. Rather than blame, we can ask what our disturbance is pointing to—so we can see our part, identify the basic flaw underneath it, and grow.

This workshop with Dr. Berger will explore how to use our emotional disturbances to uncover unhealthy dependencies and unenforceable rules. The goal is to develop a robust understanding of what it takes to build a healthy relationship in recovery. You will leave with practical concepts you can apply with partners, family, friends, and in sponsorship—using trouble as an invitation to deepen honesty, humility, and intimacy.

October 16-18, 2026

Join us for an illuminating weekend with Dr. Allen Berger, public speaker, nationally recognized expert on the science of recovery, and author of 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety.

PLEASE NOTE: Registration includes all programming and meals on Saturday. Lodging is separate. Financial assistance is available - more information here.

Questions? Call The Wilson House at (802) 362-5524 or email frontdesk@wilsonhouse.org.